sa rang hei yo! zhi dui ni shuo.. sa rang hei yo means i love u.. i will love u n forever more.. the song just keeps playin n playin..
its time it let go.. its time to move on.. probably i dun trust him anymore.. was it all because of those gossipers? i dunnoe.. but.. i need time.. i must learn to forget.. blink blink blink..
i dunnoe why i cried.. but i did .. am i really sad.. its timto learn.. everyone has to learn.. thanks to saying that its an 'expierence' larx.. well done.. u good.. wahaha.. but i was sad.. had been sad.. then.. lost of emotions le.. u said that we can still be friends.. u noe its hard to do so? what r u trying to do.. maybe u dun mean anything.. but i think that there is more to it lei.. alamak.. haiz.. i dunnoe wad u want from me larx.. but u shold noe my stand kay? i told u le.. anyway.. if two are truley in love with one another.. there is needless to say 'SORRY' never have the thought o fbreaking up no matter how angry u are.. if love was all so simple.. i woulden't be in this mess like right now.. hello! u noe that i have my privacy n stuff dun you.. so stay away can? u promise to be friends n that u will not call me or message me le.. or maybe less frequently.. but u still do.. n like so so many times.. even if i dun answer your call i dosen't matter does it? what r u trying to do! dun get me all worked up n irritated mind u! dun stalk me too.. n dun try to be farnie.. like she said.. u shold have known me well as in my likes n dislikes even at the start.. fact is that u dun right? maybe n probably i had made the right choice.. u said it first anyway n then apologised saying that u didn mean it.. just in a state of anger that u suggested it.. ! dun treat me as a fool can? if u so wish to leave.. n disturb me like ever again.. me talking to some other guys is like none of ur business already.. anyway i needed that guy's help to move like boxes of files.. u think what.. so free like u everydae thinking of who to jio go out r? PLEASE! wake up ok.. n dun dirturb her like ever again.. if i hear anymore of ur nonsense.. u'll be sorry hor!..
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good times bad times...
its now or never thats what they said..
so what's my decision??...
i have heard so so much.. but what struck me was when she asked.. had u heard anything good about him? i said no.. how about bad things? i said yes.. whats all this mann.. im feeling so so terrible.. its not that i dun want to believe you but there is a problem some how.. i dunnnoe how to put it.. is it just me or the pressures around? i really dunnoe.. should everything come to an end? u asked if i would give u another chance.. whether i should listen to every one else? it seems like the world knows about it. big boss noes?? oMG im just a small little fry there.. yet it seems like all eyes are on me.. stop it! am i to blame? they say that he is flirt.. he sayes that he has changed and will do anything for me.. is that right? are they all lies? if i were to leave which is like soon.. will he continue...?? it seems lik he already has a BAD reputation there.. BosS noe about it.. she wants to talk to him.. priya is like protecting me.. she does not want him to come over like ever again.. he already got complained that he came here just too too often.. everyone around me tells me something.. who am i to believe.. i am just a small little girl dunnoe from where some little girl that do not know what is love.. the feeling to love to give n take n the feeling of being loved.. why must all this happen.. what is WRONG?
it seems like history repeate itself.. ry said it once.. now..j also tells me the same thing.. p tells me to give him everything back.. all those things that supposed to be for me.. those things that were meant to be for our first month together.. yet.. it is left in one corner of the office.. unattended.. un touched.. feeling cold n lonely.. take it back ba.. but u said that its for me.. whether i want to throw it away or to keep it its mine le.. so..
u said it first then said sorry.. what do u think i am.. a toy to be played or fooled around.. do u even cherish me? if u don't just as well.. i will not.. its not worth it.. its not like its the end of the world p said.. ry,e,jh they all told me that there would be even more in time to come.. that he is not worth my time.. blah blah blah.. u said the four letter word.. 'wtf u want from me??' u scolded me.. u sort of shouted at me.. u tugged me.. u try to pull me away.. OUCH!
maybe we were not ment to be together in the first place.. remembering that i kinda asked that some one to give me strength to tell me if he is the right one .. n the very next dae.. i heard all that.. so what does that mean?? he is telling me to stay away from u.. we are not supposed to be together.. we shoulden't have started much less say ended..
put the past behind n move on with him? or continue to live in my own fantasy.. my own world where no one is there? where i am all alone again.. alone n afraid.. alone but happy.. all because i need not worry.. worry about so many things.. worry if u would seek another n throw me away.. worry if u would be true to me.. worry if u would hurt me.. maybe i should learn to let go.. GET A LIFE!! let him go.. maybe someone out there is better suited for him.. im not.. the happy times together.. yet a sad ending? all because of gossips? all because i don't trust u? all because.. u r like a wolf in a sheeps clothing..
probably time is all i need... to forget.. to let go.. to set myself free..
oWW..
OHHH.... OMG OMG!! owwwWWWW.. kekezz. JASON KOR KOR.. !! MY JASON KOR KOR!! haha.. u simply rawkS mannz.. muhahah..
today is yet another simple dae.. but the fact is that its music clinic's third anniversary.. wohoo.. time simply flies.. that time was their second.. n todae is their third! wowZ! one year older le.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! n coz tml is fang zhong hua's birthdae ... happy birthdae to u too! kekz.. the programme was cool.. with so so many SUPERS! round here.. creating a well.. wonderful atmosphere.. WELL DONE!! kekz.. wads more.. the highlets.. was like after the whole show? where everyone gathered to sing the birthday song.. oo.. JASON was there... haha.. then was the photo taking session.. hunting down for jason.. adriano.. blah blah blah.. calvina.. jeremy.. .. kekz.. then meibao finally got her chance to get so so close to adriano.. haha.. must had been good huh? haha.. colud nine le ba.. haha.. me TOO!! jason somemore shoke my hand.. muhahah.. alamak.. just like some fanatic fan sia.. alamak.. hmm.. anyway.. celes n maxi was like here .. this is magde.. then he was like oo.. hi.. then he shoke my hand.. saying 'nice to meet u!' wahaha then.. 'oo.. ni shou zhe me leng r..' kekz.. so cute.. omg omg!! then i smiled.. then we took a picture together.. wohoo.. im singing im dancing.. im.. dreaming.. haha.. but its real larx.. coz he is also MC's student wad?? ought to be there.. to peng chang!..haha.. LUV U!! haha.. stay happy n cute alwaes ya.. :) smilez.. had a great time.. somemore took picts with cong.. yu yang.. ... lal la la la la.. ai yo.. wait cannot sleep sia.. haha..
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sHOULD I sae that im lost in my own tiny world..
hmm.. i had driving todae.. like yes.. again n its the tewnty oneth lesson.. n like i still am so so far away from my final test which is like on the 11th of aug! wahaha.. FSSB! that was wad i learnt todae.. for right turns.. check front mirror.. then signal.. then check side mirror.. n blind spot n then turn.. dun use ur eyeballs n turn them all around.. must tilt the HEAD!! if not the tester cannot see.. aka 'blind'.. for parallel parking.. go until u can see the front pole.. then reverse till the edge of the back screen touches the pole.. then full lock to the left.. then move until u can see the back pole from the side mirror.. then turn two rounds right.. then look front.. full lock right.. till car in position.. then left again.. think that's about it ba.. BLUR! wahaha.. meantime i better remember all the steps for the final day.. n ALWAYS check blind spots.. for that costs alot of points.. if u dun check frequently larx.. ya that was my dae.. n yet again another cut from all the files n papers in the office.. so so sad.. sob sob.. think i shang hen lei lei le larx.. haiz.. me n my chor lorness..
life just goes on on on.. blah blah blah.. also dunnoe wad i tokin about.. so so long never come n blog le larx.. that is because ppl had been hoggin the com.. n anyway im too tired to blog.. furthermore there is nothing much to blog about larx.. so sian.. my dear sent me home after work yesterdae.. so sweet r.. thks mannz.. but u noe i dun like somethin right.. then u dun do kay.. its just respect larx.. i sld sae.. n its not the time.. u get it? ya lor.. u wait kay.. office is just as fun as it can be.. wai thing is alwaes so so scarcastic.. n so so fArnie larx.. u shopping queen todae go buy so so many bedsheets for ur twins.. then come n show off.. some more go n buy white gold.. come n dance n show off in front of me.. wahaha.. not shy r.. haha! then again without her around the place would be so so quite larx.. now that so many jokers had left to do their stuff.. n the seh boh garysie? still slackin n sleeping at home..! GOSH! u good! leaving me here all alone.. doin all the print outs n stuff.. wahaha..
k called me yesterdae .. coz it was his birthdae so i gave him my time.. ya.. since think he was lonely larx.. anyway hope that two of ur wishes will come ture kay.. as for the third.. im sorry.. but i think it will not happen n it will not come true.. it's all in the past already.. no use harping on it.. move on... u'll find ur special someone..
my dear guardien angel.. though u may not have gotten what u want but things happend this way would have its reason.. he may had planned something for u le.. he will lead n guide u.. trust him.. trust urself.. do what u think will be good for u.. though saying n doing it are two different things.. but be happy kay? :)
no body wants to go to any camp with me huh haiz.. means no camps for me? no new freinds? or wad? haiz.. the feeling of bein alone is so so not good.. though i noe that u r by myside but i am sure that u cannot be by me every seond every minute.. that is why.. i sae i dun like the feelin of loneliness.. the feeling of emptyness..
la la la..
todae i went out to catch X-men with dar.. hmm.. nice larx.. i think?? we went shopping then dinner.. then to the movies.. ai yo.. he shoulden't have larx.. he spent so much on me! aye.. alamak.. tell him i ownself pay le but he inisted.. saying that he wanted to jiang li me for getting into the uni.. kekz.. thks dar.. then at the movies.. i sort of got angry with him larx.. u should know ur limits larx.. i asked him.. then he said that he was sorry.. like AGIAN! hai yo.. but then think im just so so soft hearted larx.. ill let him go this time.. if he do it again then i will flare.. u noe i dun like it right? so.. dun do it.. dun say 'sorry' after that n treat it As IF NOTHING has happened ya? promise?..
maxi maxi.. so.. appeal.. ill pray that u get in kay?? ha.. then we can go skl together.. or something like that? kekz.. then k.. ill also pray that u'll appeal n get to the course that u want kay.. engineering huh? i noe that he will always be there to guide little children.. to show them the way.. to lead them.. an an.. u suddenly messaged me like today? kekz.. so touched.! u still remember me huh?? haha.. lolx.. i thought that u had forgoten about me le.. u said that u were busy mugging n that u suddenly thought of me coz u are like at mac mugging so so hard.. n thinking of those daes where i thought u maths.. haha.. so touched.. well.. hmm.. illl pray oh lord.. that u'll guide him.. that he will learn from his past.. to do his very best.. since he is taking a's for like the second time.. that he will be able to remember what he had learnt so that he will have an easier time.. that he will have the courage to carry on.. the peserverance.. to do well to think only about striving to do his very best in the upcoming a's! that he will also have the determination.. to not slack anymore.. JIA YOU!! GAMBATEH!!
yesterday was like three of my collegue's last dae.. sob sob.. then there will not be much fun and laughter le.. i really miss josiah n nicholas... for their enterainment! so long no body call me 'REDS' le.. wahaha.. then more are leaving n those that r replacing are not at all happening.. ill miss u all.. wei qin.. grace.. n shewen..
TO SHEWEN!.. i hope that the change of environment will enable u to learn more n to seek ur highest potential to strive to do ur very best.. to climb up to ur peak... all the best..
TO GRACE!.. miss 'tom' kekz.. will u miss jerry?? haha.. but u will surley miss wai thing larx.. the big joker .. talking n making ur stories out of nothing.. linking all male account managers to u n me.. wahahaha.. that so so BAD!! haha.. ill miss u.. do take care.. n dun forget me worz.. wanna go out ching some dae.. dun forget to call me go kay.. n all the best hor.. future NTU business student.. do well!! take care..
TO WEI QIN!.. my lunch mate.. wahaha.. we like came in together larx.. n now u r leaving.. who is gonna pei me eat lunch? now that ruiyi is had also left.. alamka.. wahaha.. me n me onli.. the pooor me.. having to eat lunch all alone.. u not shy r.. leave me there.. wahhaa.. anyway.. all the best to u too larx.. since.. u are also gonna be an future NTU BUSINESS student.. free.. care to call me out for a chat or two kay.. miss ya..!
hmm.. no tution for like the whole of this month.. since like its the hoildaes.. they wanna a break.. so do i.. so.. hmm.. no income comin in from tution like this month.. so another three hundred poorer? kekz.. anyway anyhow.. i needa a break mah.. so oh well... im actually quite fine with that.. kekz.. my guardien angel.. kekz.. u also have tution kid le huh?? good good.. then u can earn extra pocket money to spend.. or maybe.. keep it for ur uni education ba.. anyway.. u made ur choice on the uni n the course that u wanted to pursue.. u did ur best in the a's u didn let urself down since u did ur very best didn u? i wish u the very best in ur uni education.. that u will enjoy life as an undergrad to the fullest.. the cool n vibrant place that many yearn to enter..
i wanna thank everyone who are happy for me.. u all care for me? dun u? kekz.. i will want to think it that way so that i will feel happy! kekz.. thks for accepting me in ur skl larx.. happy happy happy.. lal al la.. ill probably just accept the skl n go on studying it.. my major? yet to think.. i think ill just see whats my interest after the first year lor!
cher.. thks for bein there larx.. kekz.. u had listen to me su ku.. shared my joy... blah blah blah.. was clearing my inbox just now n saw that message.. n told me that it will be tiring to seek an answer to everything.. it just makes one go really crazy.. just let it go.. let things take its course.. in u i find an adult larx.. think u can go be counceller le.. haha ill live everydae to my fullest.. to be happy.. not finding a reason to everything.. just let nature take its course.. to be happy n laugh it out.. ITS SO GOOD TO BE HAPPY..!! SHA LA LA LA LA...
i am what i am..
I AM..
HAPPY!! to be able to be given a place somewhere..
SATISFIED!! to be able to be studying in a uni..
RELIEVED!! to know that i will not have to worry if i would get a rejection letter..
so.. what's my final decision??
priya n grace said; ' just go take the cert.. next time come out n work they will not really look at the papers le.. once u get the job.. no matter what job u decide to do in future.. regardless of the faculty or majors.. get the cert.. next time want to do what then go do..'
joyce said' think carefully what u wanna do.. u control ur own life.. no one is gonna to complete the rest of the journey for u.. pursue ur dreams.. follow ur heart..'
but the thing is i do not really noe what is best for me as yet.. wahahah.. then again.. everyone asks me to accept it coz its one of the best unis in asia.. its better than gettin a overseas cert.. which may not even be recognised for that matter.. lolx.. after thinking so much about SIM NUS WANTS me! like.. ok.. so am i gonna take their offer.. am i gonna pursue that course of study?? knowing that many out there r vying for a place there n that i am given a place.. n still wanna reject it?? CARZY!! WHAT R U THINKIN OF?? OEI! WAKE UP!!
many people is happy for me.. n im also happy.. i noe that u were there.. u wanted to give me a chance.. u wanted to see me thru.. u held my hand.. i had ur assurance n trust... THANK U! i pray that u will continue to watch over me.. give me strength.. give me the wisdom to do the right things and make the right decisions.. walk with me.. u allowed all these to happen.. coz u wanted to see me grow.. THK U!
